Hermetic Seal of Approval

I feel like withdrawing from people lately. Doing so produces, by turns, two very different emotional results. Sometimes, when I turn down that party or show, or dinner invitation (usually begging off with some half legitimate excuse, like 'homework', which, depending on the subject or class, can be virtually never ending, making it the perfect cover), I feel liberated, and disciplined. My time is my own, free from the incessant demands of my friends. I can hole up in my little loft and put my efforts towards whatever I feel. I can read, write (rarely), watch movies, practice music, sketch, do the aforementioned homework (which usually leads to a pleasantly broadening plenitude of loose ends being pursued on Wikipedia and in the dictionary), or whatever strikes my fancy. Other times, I only seem to end up miring myself in an endless loop of time wasting activities, most of which involve my computer, that leave me feeling headachey and sad. The x factor seems to be how much energy and motivation I can summon; if I make it over the energy hump, and do something creative/productive, I invariably find that causes the energy and inspiration to multiply, ultimately leaving me in an optimistic, clear headed mental state. I must continue to seek discipline in life. It's never been my strong suit.

Bye Bye, Bad Man

The idea of a blog has always intrigued me. Blogging culture, if such a term can be used, seems like an ideal milieu for laying down thoughts and recounting events, both as personal record and as a means for friends and acquaintances to investigate what the one or the other is up to.
I like the non-invasive aspect of blogs. There's no need to directly send your words to any one person, thus one avoids putting pressure on anyone to directly respond. The words just sit there, ignored or appreciated; unobtrusive yet eminently available to those who care to look.
I hate public advertising, yet I love the proliferation of information and general electronic clutter we're experiencing in our lifetimes. The key, to me, is choice. This blog method simply allows the dissemination of ideas, news, or just amusing nonsense, without impinging on our friends' innate right to solitude and silence. Anyone who know me knows I've appreciated their respect for my own self-imposed isolation at many times in the past, and to this day.
It's essential to articulate one's experiences in some form or another. It helps us to acknowledge the reality of our particular situations. The written word has a way of helping to shine the light of truth on one's own fallacious reasoning, and also of helping to crystallize our better ideas. I choke on words like 'validation', but there's no denying that it's apt.
My own life has been characterized by a certain inclination towards intellectual laziness and a general lack of discipline. It's my hope that writing about my life from time to time might help me in my recent efforts to escape my natural torpor, and spur me onward to living a more energetic, engaged, and healthful life.
I've recently been inspired and amused, by turns, by others' blogs, and I hope that I can make a small contribution to the wealth of honest, unpretentious writing that exists on the internet, despite the plenitude of empty, distracting content that vastly outnumbers it. I look forward to a collective departure from the culture of vapidity, hostility and snarkiness that generally characterizes internet discourse. Selectiveness has become a more important quality than ever before. Discretion really is the better part of valour. If what I'm saying strikes you as a waste of your time, I urge you to stop reading and call your grandma, or go to the park, or just find something better on the internet.
I guess I'm exhorting myself more than anyone. I often find that the advice I dispense to others is the advice which I myself need to be given. I want to live with energy and thoughtfulness. Why this is such a struggle beats me, honestly. Where there's a will, though....