Hermetic Seal of Approval

I feel like withdrawing from people lately. Doing so produces, by turns, two very different emotional results. Sometimes, when I turn down that party or show, or dinner invitation (usually begging off with some half legitimate excuse, like 'homework', which, depending on the subject or class, can be virtually never ending, making it the perfect cover), I feel liberated, and disciplined. My time is my own, free from the incessant demands of my friends. I can hole up in my little loft and put my efforts towards whatever I feel. I can read, write (rarely), watch movies, practice music, sketch, do the aforementioned homework (which usually leads to a pleasantly broadening plenitude of loose ends being pursued on Wikipedia and in the dictionary), or whatever strikes my fancy. Other times, I only seem to end up miring myself in an endless loop of time wasting activities, most of which involve my computer, that leave me feeling headachey and sad. The x factor seems to be how much energy and motivation I can summon; if I make it over the energy hump, and do something creative/productive, I invariably find that causes the energy and inspiration to multiply, ultimately leaving me in an optimistic, clear headed mental state. I must continue to seek discipline in life. It's never been my strong suit.